Am I Willing, Really?

“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.  Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him.  “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you.  Take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will, but what you will.”  Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping.  “Simon,” he said to Peter, “Are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour?  Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”  Mark 14:34-38

I have been memorizing and meditating on this passage from the gospel of Mark concerning the last moments the disciples spent with Christ the evening of his betrayal and arrest.  Jesus was in deep sorrow as he prepared for what he knew was the Father’s will.  He begged God for another plan, his plan, yet he conceded his desire to remain with his disciples to God’s perfect will of suffering and shame.  He wrestled in his heart with God, but, as always, he submitted to the Father’s plan, knowing the joy that would follow.  Hebrews 12:2 

While Jesus wrestled with overwhelming grief, his disciples slept.  He was “obedient to the point of death,” Paul says in his letter to the Philippians.  Yet, his disciples gave in to sleep and their own needs rather than keeping watch as Jesus had commanded.  Jesus was saying, “not what I will, but what you will” to God.  Peter and the disciples didn’t have a clue what Jesus was going through.  They were more concerned with their need of sleep than with fulfilling the desire Christ had for them.

This week I have thought about my children and some other young adults who are searching to fulfill their dreams and goals for their “perfectly planned” life.  So often we look for the place we want to live or the job we want to have as some romantic adventure.  We spend much time dreaming about it, saving our money for it, and even giving up certain other opportunities as we continue our search for the perfect life we have planned.  If we are not careful we end up missing the Father’s perfect will and plan for our own glamorized notion of what we think is best for us!

What if Jesus had said, “Lord, this is not what I had in mind! I think I will stay right here with my followers and we will go with their idea of me being an earthly king.”  If Jesus would of slept with the disciples instead of surrendering to the Father’s will none of us would ever know the glory, the grace, the riches of eternity.  We wouldn’t have known what beauty comes from ashes, what harvest comes from discipline nor would we have known what it means to be a child of the King! 

There was a time when I said, “I will never move back to Houston!”  I ate those words 17 years ago.  If I had stayed with my plan I wouldn’t have been a part of an amazing church where my husband is the mission’s pastor.  I would not have gone on some amazing mission trips to India and Kenya.  I would have never been given the opportunity to create a position of leadership director in a health ministry.  My son wouldn’t have met his sweet wife.  I wouldn’t have had the privilege of caring for my mom in my home for a year as she battled cancer.  The list goes on and on. 

I am sure there are things that I haven’t been willing to do that God was calling me to do.  I am also sure that I missed out on some blessings along the way because of my disobedience and selfishness.  Today, as I think about my future and what I am willing to do with my life, my skills, my gifts, and my time, I am reminded of Jesus’ admonition to keep watching and praying.  I do not want to miss out on God’s perfect plan because I choose to sleep rather than watch for His hand and listen for His voice.  The Father’s plan doesn’t always make sense to us and it may not seem very glamorous, but if it is His plan, it will be a plan filled with His good purposes.  Today, I am laying down my will for His and will watch to see Him work for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:13 How about you? Are you willing, really?

In Him We Live and Move and Have Our Being

As I prayed this morning, desperately seeking to hear the Lord’s voice whisper in my ear, I noticed something rather strange.  I had my elbows on the table and my head in my hands praying and as I looked up I noticed the flowers moving in the vase in front of me.  I listened to hear if the air conditioner was on to see if it was the air from the vents causing the flowers to sway.  No air on.  Then I realized the flowers were moving with a specific rhythm.  I moved my elbows from the table and the flowers quit moving.  I placed them back on the table and the movement began again, only this time I realized that they were moving in rhythm with my heartbeat.  Immediately the Word came to me, “For in Him we live and move and have our being.”  (Acts 17:28)  We move to the rhythm of God’s heartbeat.

I love to look for patterns in my life, things that are related or the same.  I look often to see if the Lord is leading me to the same word, phrase, people, or activity over a period of days or weeks.  Over the last few weeks the Lord has put me with single adults who are hungry for spiritual understanding.  I have had the opportunity to speak to ninety single adults about my passion of hiding God’s Word in my heart, to answer questions of several young single women in a small group and to give insight into how to study the Word to a small group of single men and women. Then just last night I received a call from someone asking me to fill in tonight for a teacher who was ill. The class I have been asked to teach is for a group of young singles and the topic is discipleship.  I see a pattern here, don’t you? 

Recently I have been a little off track spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  When I get my eyes focused more on me rather than on Jesus I become self-obsessed, insecure, and undisciplined.  I was feeling like I was just wandering and not being purpose driven in my life.  Much of this comes with age and transitioning from one season of life to another.   I have been an empty nester for about 10 years now, but only recently did both of my children move to California, which is a long way from Texas!  I just got back from a visit with my children and since returning home have been stuck.  I miss them terribly, but at the same time am extremely proud and grateful that my children are healthy, godly, brave and are living smack dab in the middle of God’s will. But, I have been asking God, “What about me?  What have I done?  What have I accomplished?   Will I be productive in my old age?” 

Then I saw the flowers move to my heartbeat and realized that I have been moving to God’s heartbeat.  He has been leading me to opportunities to pour out my life’s experiences to this next generation.  “He determined the times set for them (me) and the exact places where they (I) should live.  God did this so that men (I) would seek Him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.  For in him we live and move and have our being.”  (Acts 17:26-28)  It really isn’t about me at all.  It is about God’s timing, His purpose, and His plan.  I am once again reminded to “fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  (Hebrews 12:2)  Jesus accomplished the work of redemption and placed within me purpose.  The purpose is to declare His praise, His power, and His grace to the next generation and to those who have yet been created.  Psalm 102:18 

I have been preaching to myself this morning, but perhaps you need a little encouragement today, as well.  If you are moving into a new season, a new stage or experiencing transition of any kind, keep your focus off of yourself and set your eyes and your mind of God’s desires.  He desires to live and move in and through you.  Look around and see God at work moving you to His rhythm, His pattern, His purpose.  Don’t walk away, but seek Him, reach out for Him and you will find Him – promise!  “For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”  Matthew 7:8

Moving to His Rhythm,

Nancy 

Hope for the Future

Over the last couple of weeks I have had the opportunity to be around young single adults and I have been encouraged by their eagerness to learn Biblical truth.  This fuels my desire even more to pour into the next generation!  As I was thinking about these young singles I saw the truths of First Timothy 1:5 being lived out.  “But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. “  As I reflected on my time with two different groups of singles, one group from Houston, Texas and another from Venice, California I saw three similarities: 

•         Love from a pure heart.  I saw a desire in these young single adults for holiness.  They were pursuing godliness rather than riches and fame. 
•     A good conscience.   These young believers had an eagerness to do the right thing according to Biblical truth, even if it cost them financially.
•      A sincere faith.  Authenticity is highly valued among this generation of young believers.  They can sniff out insincerity pretty quickly!

As I look over this list of goals the Apostle Paul set out to accomplish through his teaching, I am motivated once again to press on in my passion to teach and train the next generation.  My heart cries out even more, “Even when I am old and gray, O Lord, do not forsake me till I declare you power to the next generation, you might to all who are to come.”  (Psalm 71:18)    I so want to relate with Paul’s words in Philippians 2:17, “Even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all.”   Life on earth is short, a breath compared to eternity.  My desire is to pour all I have into the next generation, helping to raise a harvest of righteousness and peace that will long outlive me. 

My encouragement to whoever reads this posting is to be intentional with the ripples you are leaving in this life.  Jesus as he prepared to go to the cross, left Peter, James and John while he went to pray, asking only that they would remain there and keep watch.  They failed Christ by falling asleep while He poured out his agony before the Father in prayer.  When Jesus found them asleep, He said to them, “Keep watching and praying that you may not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”  (Mark 14:38)  My prayer just this morning as I meditated on Jesus’ words was, “My desire O Lord is to have my eyes and heart wide open to what You would have me do minute by minute. Help me keep watching and standing guard with this young generation.”  Let’s keep watching and praying as we continue to follow Christ’s example and lead the next generation to steadfastly seek pure hearts, good consciences, and sincere faith. 

Pouring Out,

Nancy

Lessons in the Desert

While on a bit of a sabbatical from teaching Bible study and a vacation from life as usual, I have enjoyed the mountains of Colorado and now am experiencing a totally different desert environment. We hiked up Pinnacle Peak in Scottsdale, Arizona, which is a granite summit that rises 600 feet from the desert floor and can be seen from much of the Valley.  While on this hike I took some pictures and made some observations, as I sought to apply the truth of Proverbs 24:32, “I applied my heart to what I observed and I learned a lesson from what I saw.”  

These are some things I saw on my desert hike: 

Huge boulders cluttered the landscape. These boulders were sturdy enough to sit on, lean against and even walk on top of, yet we did notice cracks on some of the boulders that had formed over time.  These rocks reminded me of the Lord being my Rock and my Refuge. "He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress, I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God."  (Psalm 62:6-7) The earthly rocks of our lives, like our jobs, our homes, and even our friends will crack and crumble over time.  But our God is a forever Rock in whom we can trust for eternity to never crack or fail us in the midst of a desert experience.  

All along the trail cactus seemed to be raising their arms toward heaven.  Were they calling out for water perhaps on this hot April morning?  Or maybe they stood in a worship position, ready to praise their Creator.  Isaiah proclaims that "the mountains and the hills break forth with shouts of joy before you and the trees of the fields clap their hands." (Isaiah 55:12)  In Romans, Paul says that all of creation yearns for Jesus, the Living Water, to return satisfying our thirst forever.  On this warm morning hike I am reminded to lift my hands to Him in praise and in petition, calling on the One who will satisfy my every need. 

As we trudged along the trail we noticed the desert was a sea of khaki with even the buildings blending into nature's decor. From time to time my eye would catch a brilliant orange or pink blossom coming out of the barren ground.  The desert is mentioned many times in scripture. One such passage is in Isaiah 43:19, “Behold, I will do something new; now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?  I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”  We must not become overwhelmed with the monotonous shades of khaki in our lives, but be looking for the new thing He wants to do.  In those spiritual deserts persistence is needed to stay on the trail, keeping our eyes focused on the Lord, who is at work doing something amazingly new.  Will you be aware of it?  

We spotted this cactus who was a hug waiting to happen!  The cactus "arm" was reaching out as if to say, "Hugs anyone?"  So much of the time we are looking for a way out of a desert and not looking to embrace it!  However, scripture gives us instructions on how to embrace desert times in our lives:  “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”  (James 1:2-4) On our hike today, I decided to embrace the moment and take in the scenery and look for the lessons God had for me. If you find yourself on a hike in the desert today, remember:

• God is your Rock and Refuge in whom you can depend.
• Practice praising the Lord and calling on Him to sustain you.
• Be aware that God is doing something new in the midst of your daily desert.
• Embrace the desert with joy knowing that if you stay on the trail it will take you straight to Him!  

Making the Climb Count!

Nancy 

Don’t Lose Heart!

As I write this posting I am tempted to give up before I even get started.  I am feeling puny physically, which makes me anxious as I prepare to leave in the morning for two weeks away.  I have so looked forward to a trip that will include stops in Colorado, Arizona and then California.  Mentally, physically and spiritually I need rest, refreshment, and revival.  I feel I am on the brink of a burn out.

As I spent time with the Lord this morning I was reminded of a verse that one of the young women I mentor mentioned to me yesterday in 2 Corinthians 4.  So, as I read through that chapter, my eyes went straight to the phrase, “ we do not lose heart” found in the very first verse.  I grabbed hold of the truth, as I felt my heart loosening from my grip.  As I did a little word study I discovered that “lose heart,” or “give up” as the NIV states, comes from the Greek words en, meaning in, and from kakos, meaning bad.  The definition went on to explain that to lose heart means “to give in to trouble, to become exasperated by difficulty, be defeated in spirit, discouraged, or faint-hearted, to despair, or lose heart.”  (The Key Word Study Bible, NIV)  That definition was spot on in describing how I have been feeling lately. 

Jesus, in Luke 18:1, told the disciples a parable to encourage them to not lose heart in prayer when the answer is slow to come. In 2 Corinthians 4:1 Paul says that because of God’s mercy he does not lose heart in serving through ministry.  Paul also encourages believers to not give up when those you love go through trials.  (Ephesians 3:13)  Again Paul’s famous words to, “not grow weary in doing good” comes with the promise that if we don’t give up we will “reap a harvest” of life rather than destruction. (Galatians 6:9)  Finally, Paul brings 2 Corinthians 4 to a close by encouraging us to not lose heart when the burdens of this life increase for us because they are first of all temporary and most importantly they will never compare to the glory that not losing heart or giving up will produce when we trust Him to carry them for us.  (2 Corinthians 4:16)

So whether we are weary because of ministry, trials, unanswered prayers, in doing good or bearing burdens let us be quick to hear the Lord whispering today, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”  (Matthew 11:28-30) As you listen for His comforting voice today, also “Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful man, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:3)   Christ ministered though weary, endured rejection though doing good, and walked forward toward a sure death because He knew the One who would bring power over death, destruction, and weariness. As I look forward to celebrating Easter the encouragement to not lose heart rings in my ears.  If Jesus endured the temporary, yet life-taking opposition from sinful man to provide for me peace with God for eternity, then I choose today, to not lose heart, but to bow before the Lord Jesus and soak in His power, presence and peace.  Let’s not give up, give in, or lose heart, but let us remain steadfast, eyes on Jesus, resting in His unfailing arms of mercy.  (I am feeling better already!)

Revived!

Nancy 

Pay Attention

The Lord has been whispering in my ear, “Pay attention.” Those two words have repeatedly come to mind throughout this week as I have read scripture and as I noticed them printed on a bookmark I recently placed in my journal, which reads, “The beauty of life lives inside the smallest of moments – (Pay attention).”

“Pay attention!” I often reminded my fourth grade students.  No matter how many times I said it there would usually be a handful of students who would fail at a task simply because they hadn’t paid attention to the directions.  Have you ever filled out a form in cursive handwriting using ink and afterward discovered that you were supposed to print the information using a pencil?  Recently I was ordering something online for someone’s birthday and realized I would need to expedite the shipping in order for the gift to get there on time.  I spent a good hour filling out all the information and clicked on the “purchase” button. Then as I checked over the receipt with the completed order, which I should have done prior to clicking  “purchase,” I noticed that I failed to check the express shipping box and the gift would possibly not make it in time for her birthday! I had to go back, cancel the first order, fill out a new order, paying careful attention to check the correct shipping method and finally clicked on the button labeled: “purchase!”  Time wasted simply because I did not pay attention to the crucial shipping method box!  If only I had paid attention the first time I filled it out, I could have gone to bed an hour earlier. 

The Lord reminded the Israelites in Isaiah 48:17-18 “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.  If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.”    Paid attention in the text refers to the Hebrew word, Qasab, and means, to listen, give heed, or pay attention.  The truth of this scripture is so relevant for our lives today. When we hear the truth, and obediently pay attention to God’s Word and His Promises we will experience His peace.  That is the peace that goes beyond explanation or understanding. (Philippians 4:7) It is a peace that guards and protects us from living out “If only” moments. Paying attention to God’s promises will bring strong peace of mind and build strong character.

The writer of Hebrews warns, “We must pay more careful attention therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.” (Hebrews 2:1) If we fail to pay attention to the truth we have heard in the past then we tend to wander away from the path God has for us. We drift aimlessly through life and accomplish very little of all God has planned for us.  When I direct my attention to the truths, warnings, and encouraging words that people have spoken to me in the past it helps me to persevere in whatever it is God has called me to do.  Paying attention produces perseverance, which results in greater faith.  After Jesus was raised from the dead, His disciples recalled something prophetic Jesus had said prior to His death on the cross, which led them to believe Scripture and the words that Jesus had spoken to them earlier.  (John 2:22)  Recall leads to reclaimed faith and a refocused life.

Last Sunday, the power went out as our pastor was making an important point in his message.  People, without hesitation, began turning on their cell phones as if attending a candlelight service. The light of the phones enabled us to see in the unexpected darkness.  Within a few minutes the power was restored and the light shone brightly once again, as Pastor Gregg took up where he had left off.   Sudden darkness takes us by surprise and often we panic rather than reach for an accessible light.  Peter encourages believers to pay attention to the Word in the same way you pay attention to a light shining in a dark place.  (2 Peter 1:19)  “And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.” If you find yourself in an especially difficult or dark place, keep your eyes on the Light.  “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105)  His Word directs us in the dark times.  Jesus promises that whoever believes in Him, the Light of the world, will never walk in darkness, but will always have the One who illuminates life.  (John 8:12)  So, as one who has been redeemed by the Light of the World we are encouraged to let our light shine before all men in such a way that they may see our good works and glorify our heavenly Father.  (Matthew 5:16) Our good work is simply paying attention to His Word, seeking Him in our dark times and believing that the Light will see us through.  In turn, those who are not just walking through a dark time, but are dark dwellers may see His light reflected in us and be drawn to Him.

This week let’s pay attention to what is true, obey it, and without hesitation use it to light our dark and difficult places.  May others see the Light who illuminates our lives and be drawn to Him who gives peace, perseverance and purpose. 

Until the light dawns . . . 

Pay Attention,

Nancy

What My Children Taught Me About God

“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.”  John 1:14

Full of grace and truth . . . God is fully grace and fully truth.    He is justice and He is mercy; two sides of one coin.  God is beyond that description.  I see Him now as more like a diamond, with an infinite amount of facets and carats. 

I recently read an article about astronomers finding a huge diamond in space.  “It is 2,500 miles across and weighs 5 million, trillion trillion pounds, which translates to approximately 10 billion trillion trillion carats, or a one followed by 34 zeros.”  The article went on to say that “the hunt for the crystal core of this white dwarf has been like the search for the Lost Dutchman’s Mine.  It was thought to exist for decades, but only now has it been located.” (Center for Astrophysics) 

When studying Romans and looking into the election or choosing by God of those who will be saved my Bible study class as well as their teacher, (that would be me) are left puzzled.  It is beyond our understanding, as it should be.  For Paul says in Romans 11:33, “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!”  The more I study of God’s Word the more I realize I do not know, and that I will never know all there is to know until I see Jesus face to face. 

As I walk on the treadmill each morning I use that time to pray.  I pray for my children everyday as I walk and meditate on His Word.  Yesterday as I was meditating on the truth found in John 1:14 about Jesus being full of grace and truth my mind flashed to my children.  I have learned much about myself and about my heavenly Father through my children.  Becoming a mom gave me such insight into the Father’s love and His great care He gives His children.  As a mom I have been humbled many times through my inadequacies as a mom and through the words and behaviors of my own children.  As I contemplate the message of the Gospel, that through Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross that I now stand declared righteous in my heavenly Father’s eyes, I see also His truth and His grace.

Jesus came full of truth and grace.  Will, my first born, was full of truth, the law follower. He saw things black or white, no gray!  Structure was his middle name!  Having things clean and perfect was always his goal.  This goal is unattainable and so he would experience insecurity and fear of failure in his attempts at perfection. However, when he discovered music he began to worship and lead others in worship.  His worship of the Perfect One full of truth broke through his own self-righteousness and he became a humble author who called himself, the adoring mess. 

Sarah, my second and final child, was full of terror at first and then full of grace.  She would run up to adults and kick them in the shins just because she wanted to!  Then when the first day of kindergarten came her grace and mercy literally “kicked” in.  Her teacher met me at the door after that first day with, “The other teachers and I were appalled at Sarah’s behavior at recess today! She kicked a boy while he was on the ground.”  Once in the car I asked Sarah what had happened at recess.  She explained, “That boy was picking on the kids all day and when recess came I saw my chance to let him have it!”  She was taking up for the weak and defenseless, something she often does now as a lawyer. 

As a mom of two, very uniquely different children, I have learned that when we are given to pride and self-righteousness that worshipping our Holy Creator God brings us to our knees in humility and when we are a terror in the eyes of some that God’s grace rises up causing us to reach out to others in mercy.  Encouraging Will to use his gifts of writing and music turned his messy perfectionism into adoring the Perfect One through worship.   Taking Sarah to Kenya to minister to orphans strengthened the gift of God in her, allowing her to use her gift of mercy.

God is all truth and all mercy for a reason.  We need both in full measure!  Rather than accusing God of not being all good when bad things happen or of not giving the punishment you feel others deserve, remember that God is all truth and all grace.  He is beyond our understanding, beyond our explanations, beyond our terrors and our messes!  Jesus came full of truth and mercy. Trust Him, even when you don’t understand it all! 

Truth and Grace,

Nancy