Panic Attack

If you have read any of my posts lately you may notice a pattern.  The Lord is taking me through the school of fear fighting. It reminds me of when I was in college, there was a firefighter school close by where firemen would come to train during the summer.  They had a fireman obstacle course of sorts where there would be a house that would actually be set on fire allowing them to experience all the stressful details of an actual fire.  They would be assessed on how well they applied what they had learned in the classroom to the mock house fire. The Lord has given me quite a few opportunities recently to practice applying truth to fearful situations.  It is though the Lord is telling me that I need some remediation in the school of fear fighting.

This past week as my husband and I prepared to board a plane for an international mission trip, fear began to overtake me to the point of panic. I could not stop thinking of my children and how much I would miss them.  Then my thoughts took a u-turn and all I could think of was what if I never saw them again.  What if I never got to see my first grandchild or my daughter get married.  What if my mom suffered the loss of her child.  My chest grew tight, my breathing was labored and I just wanted to dissolve into a puddle in my husband's arms.

Then my husband's voice brought me back to my senses when he said, "If you want to turn around and go home and not get on the plane that is okay with me.  You can walk away right now and I will go without you."  At that moment it was like God had called out, "Nancy."  Then I had to respond in faith and say, "Here I am Lord!"  It was in that moment that I had to choose faith over fear.  Hebrews 10:35-39 in the Message speaks clearly the truth I needed to hear:

 "So don't throw it all away now.  You were sure of yourselves then.  It's still a sure thing!  But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan so you'll be there for the promised completion. It won't be long now, he's on his way; he'll show up most any minute.  But anyone who is right with me thrives on loyal trust; if he cuts and runs, I won't be very happy.  But we're no quitters who lose out.  Oh, no!  We'll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way."  

I am thankful that God responds immediately by giving me courage in my weakest moments.  I boarded the plane and a peace that I cannot explain came over me.  I never looked back and God has faithfully led me on this new adventure with Him.  I have seen answers to prayer almost on an hourly basis since I have been on this mission trip.  I experienced illness, but God healed. He has faithfully protected me to the point that I haven't even thought to fear or panic.   I have experienced His divine timing on several occasion in just a few days.  When I think of what I would have missed had I chosen to walk away and not board that plane, it brings me to my knees. I am looking forward to His promised completion of all His good purposes for this mission trip - and beyond!  Let's keep fighting fear with His truth, trusting Him all the way!  

Staying with it to the end!

Nancy  

Life’s Take Aways

In the midst of a busy week of ministry through our church’s mission trip to our city I received the news of a friends’ death.  He was my husband’s roommate in seminary and we had remained in contact with him for over 30 years, even traveling to his country several times to minister with him.  He was a humble servant of God and was constantly other-minded seeking the welfare of others before himself.  He died at the hands of terrorists, a present day martyr.  The news of his death was devastating and it shook me to the core.  Fear once again wanted to paralyze me, but instead I experienced a zeal to share the gospel rise up from my soul.  That evening after hearing this tragic news I had the opportunity to present the gospel to the ladies we were ministering to at our mission site.  By the end of our week of ministry three women prayed to receive Christ. 

As I reflected on the past week of ministry and grief I asked myself a question my sweet friend Vicky often asks after a Bible study, sermon or life event:  “What was my take-away?”  With this question on my mind I searched the Word to see how Jesus might have responded after a week like I had just experienced.  I was led to the fourteenth chapter of Matthew where Jesus was told of John the Baptist’s gruesome death. “Now when Jesus had heard about John, He withdrew from there in a boat to a secluded place by Himself; and when the people heard of this, they followed Him on foot from the cities.  When He went ashore, He saw a large crowd, and felt compassion for them and healed their sick.”  (Matthew 14:13-14)  Jesus took time to grieve and to be alone with the Father, but once the need for ministry arose He went right back to the people who were in need.  Take away:  Grief over the loss of a fellow servant of God fuels our passion and urgency to minister to those who are living in deep need. 

After ministering all day to this large crowd of people Jesus beckoned the disciples to provide the crowd of 5000 people something to eat.  After the disciples had rounded up five loaves of bread and two fish, Jesus blessed the food and the people were served more than they needed, with leftovers!  Then Matthew writes that Jesus “immediately” made the disciples get into a boat and go ahead of Him to the other side, while he sent the crowd away.  Then Jesus, after a day of grief and ministry, sought time alone to pray.  Take away: After long days of grief and ministry time alone to pray is essential. 

While Jesus was praying, the disciples’ boat had sailed a long way from Him and was being battered by the waves because of a storm.  Jesus went to them by walking on the water, but when they saw Him, they thought they were seeing a ghost coming to them on the water.  They cried out in fear, but Jesus, the scripture says, “immediately spoke to them saying, “Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!”  This was the second time Jesus took immediate action with His disciples.  Take away:  Whenever we cry out in fear, Jesus immediately offers us courage.

Peter, after seeing Jesus walk on the water, said “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”    Jesus said, “Come.”  Peter stepped out of the boat into the waves and as he focused on Jesus he walked on the water, but once the wind strengthened fear came over him and he began to sink and cried out, “Lord save me!”  For the third time in this passage, Jesus took immediate control of the situation by reaching out for Peter’s hand, holding him up above the waves.  Take away:  When we lose courage and give in to fear, Jesus immediately holds us up over the chaos and uncertainty. 

God has a Word for you in your grief and in your busy days of ministering to those around you.  Here are my four take aways from such a week:  

• Grief over the loss of a fellow servant of God fuels our passion and urgency to minister to those who are living in deep need.  
• After long days of grief and ministry time alone to pray is essential. 
• Whenever we cry out in fear, Jesus immediately offers us courage.  
• When we lose courage and give in to fear, Jesus immediately holds us up over the chaos and uncertainty.
  

My prayer is that when you are faced with grief in the midst of ministry passion for the gospel will be refueled, your time with the Father will bring refreshment and whenever you cry out in fear Jesus will immediately provide courage and carry you safely through the storm. 

What’s your take away?

Nancy

Christmas in July

She walked through the door with her blue eyes wide opened and focused directly on me.  She came toward me with arms stretched out and a smile that spread across her face. She wrapped her arms around me and I immediately embraced her.  She was a very  “special” young woman who appeared to be in her twenties, yet had the heart and mind of a precious child. It was the very first day of Houston 1:8, which is our church’s annual mission trip to our very own city where we minister to children, youth and adults through Bible stories and crafts along with many other activities.  This week I have had the privilege of teaching a Bible study to women at one of our mission sites.   This is where I encountered sweet Stephanie. 

The first night after all the women had arrived my friend Irina stood to open the program for the night by going over our schedule.  She explained that we would first have a Bible lesson followed by a craft and end with some singing.  At the mention of singing, sweet Stephanie could not contain herself any longer and stood to her feet and asked, “Can I sing?”  Without any hesitation Irina guided her to her side and said, “You can stand right here with me and sing.  What would you like to sing?”  Stephanie began to sing in a very quiet voice. It was as if time stood still.  The ladies hushed their talking and leaned forward to hear what she was singing.  “Silent night, holy night” she timidly began.  Then the room filled with every voice singing, “All is calm, all is bright.”  With every word the voices sang a little louder and then Stephanie motioned for us to clap along with her.  This was a first!  I do not believe I have ever clapped my way through Silent Night.  It was a moment I shall not soon forget.   Christmas had come on a hot July night – a totally unexpected moment. 

This year the Lord has called me to focus on learning all the details of the gospel message so that I can communicate it more effectively.   My mind was focused on presenting the gospel that first night of Houston 1:8.  I had made a chart, scripture cards and prepared a clear message.  In all my preparations I never planned on meeting Stephanie or singing Silent Night.  I tend to get lost in my detailed plans and forget that God has bigger and better plans.  In that Christmas moment I was reminded of the reason for the season.  My memory verse this week has been 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all . . . and he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.”   This mission trip to my city is not about “me and my plans” or even about what I think God has had me focus on this year.  It is about Christ’s love controlling me and compelling me to love like He loved; to die like He died; to serve like He served.   

Sweet Stephanie has taught me much about the gospel this week.  That in coming to Christ we must come to Him like a child with eyes wide opened focused on Jesus and arms stretched out reaching for Him with a child-like faith.  Stephanie’s embrace brought me back to the first time I embraced the gospel.  I believed without any doubt that Jesus had come to earth, died on a cross as a payment for my sin and that He was raised up from the grave to defeat death and sin and provide me with an eternity spent in His presence experiencing His peace.  That sweet “special” woman reminded me that sharing the gospel began with a mother and a child on a silent and holy night where suddenly their appeared a multitude of heavenly hosts praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.” (Luke 2:1) The gospel message began with praises, just as our night on mission began with a small gathering of women singing Silent Night to the glory of God! 

After our Christmas caroling I stood with a renewed passion to make known among them the riches of the glory of the gospel, which is Christ in me, the hope of glory.  (Colossians 1:27)  I felt the Lord’s pleasure as His Spirit compelled me to share about His plans to bring each woman a future filled with hope if they would only call out and reach out for Him with all their hearts.  At the end of the night I thanked God for bringing a sweet precious woman-child into my life to mess up my plans and usher us instead into the presence of our sweet Savior on such a silent, holy summer night. 

Have you experienced the embrace of the Savior? Have you been too busy with your plans and totally missed what God was up to?   “Awaken from your sleep; for now salvation is nearer than when we first believed.” Romans 13:11   Don’t miss out on any opportunity to reach out and embrace someone with the love of Christ today.  I can assure you that you will not soon forget what God will do in that moment. 

Compelled by Christ’s Love,

Nancy 

Fighting Fear

Fear has been trying to steal my peace and my joy.  Fear of what lies ahead, fear of dangers that may be lurking in places I may travel, and fear of losing the people I love have all been marching through my mind on a regular basis.  As I sat in silence this morning the Lord was faithful to whisper in my ear His love. His love does cast out fear.  But how does that work? 

Over the past couple of months in preparation for a mission trip that I will be participating in the Lord has urged me to spend time reviewing a Psalm that I had memorized a couple of years ago.  I felt that the Lord would want me to share it in some way while on my trip.   Psalm 34 begins with three verses of praise and then the psalmist testifies to God’s deliverance from fear in his life.

 

“I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.  This poor man called; and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.  The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.” 

Psalm 34:4-7

I have been reviewing this Psalm with the goal of sharing it with others, but the Lord has used it to open my eyes to His working in my own heart and mind.   After I had been meditating on this verse for a month or so, I attended a prayer service at church and the prayer leader stood and said he had been led to speak to us about fear from Psalm 34.  Then, this past Sunday, Pastor Gregg was speaking about sharing the gospel and how fear can hinder us from speaking about our faith.  I could not write fast enough as he asked this question: “Do you want to be fearful and faithless or faithful and fearless?”  “Well,” I answered to myself, “I want to be faithful and fearless!”  That evening Psalm 34:7 was mentioned at a meeting I attended regarding a mission trip I am preparing to go on. Later that night as I laid my head on my pillow, peace had defeated the fear that had locked in on my mind. 

The next morning, before I began my devotional time with the Lord, I read a note that had been given to me by one of the women in my Bible study the day before. As I opened the card, I noticed some scriptures were written at the top of the card.  Psalm 34:4-5 was the very first passage that she had written. By this time, it was obvious that the Lord was speaking to me about how to combat these fearful thoughts.  He has given me two weapons for fighting fear:  His Word and His body of believers.

The more I meditate, pray, and speak aloud His Word regarding fear my mind is no longer conforming to fearfulness, but is transformed by my faith in His truth. It reminds me of John 2:22, “After he was raised from the dead, his disciples recalled what he had said. Then they believed the Scriptures and the words that Jesus had spoken.”   As I recall God’s truth regarding His deliverance from fear my faith is being renewed and He is giving me courage to be fearless as I think of what is to come in life, on a mission trip or in a lonely place. 

As I gathered with other believers to praise and pray, fear began to dissolve.  Then, when I heard the testimony of others who were hopeful and excited about what was to come, I too began to gain an unexplainable joy and anticipation of what my future holds.  There is nothing like being connected with others in the body of Christ.  Paul said it well, “If there be any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.”  (Philippians 2:1)  I was greatly encouraged through this fellowship of the Spirit within the body of Christ! 

Are you fearful and faithless today?  Take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God and meditate on it, pray it and believe it. (Ephesians 6:17-18) Then reach out to the body of Christ.  Connect with a faithful follower of Christ who will encourage you, pray for you and spur you on to walk fearlessly into your future. 

Rescued from fear,

Nancy