My Struggle with Gravity

I had anticipated this day all week.  It was to be a day of treasure hunting. My friend and I had planned to visit antique shops and thrift stores to search among the dust, rust, and trash for that “priced just right” treasure.  We prayed and set out on our journey on a cold rainy day.  The first two stores we had on our list were closed, but we refused to allow discouragement to enter our thinking: we would shop no matter what!  After finding no open doors at the first two antique stores, we drove past a thrift shop that had their open sign lit and so we decided to start our treasure hunt there.  Before getting out of the car, we shared with one another some dreams we both had for our futures and our hopes of how God might choose to use us to minister to a lost and dying world.  We left the warm and dry confines of the vehicle filled with hope and a skip in our step in anticipation of what we might find. 

As we walked across the street I noticed a man walking toward us in the crosswalk and in the corner of my eye I caught a glimpsed a large crack in the middle of the street. All of a sudden, it was as if the road literally rose up to meet me as I went airborne after stumbling over the large crevice right smack dab in the middle of my path! I seemed to be falling in slow motion, until I heard and felt the thud of my hands and knees hitting the pavement.  I was blindsided by the pull of gravity. 

I often say that as I get older the pull of gravity on my body seems to become greater – creating sagging skin and opportunities for stumbles and tumbles.  As soon as I fell to the ground all I wanted to do was to get right back up, no other thought entered my head. On the other hand, my sweet friend’s mind began to fill up with emergency response commands like, “I need to call 911, I need to call her husband but I don’t have his number, I need to make sure she stays alert, that she hasn’t broken anything.”  As her mind raced, mine seemed to come to a halt. I was completely dependent on her as I found myself in a desperate situation.

I reached out one hand to the man who was now by my side and the other hand to my friend and they lifted me to my feet.  Once to my feet the man left my side and I began to walk with my friend, who was holding me up as I slowly walked toward the thrift shop. I began to feel faint and knew if I took one more step I would black out right there on the sidewalk. So, I sat down outside the thrift shop and she went inside for help.  When she reappeared she had an older man with her who appeared at first glance to be a policeman, but as I looked closer I realized he was the security guard for the thrift store.  He guided me with the help of my friend to their kitchen in the back of the store where he had me sit with my leg elevated.  He proceeded to clean my wounds and then applied bandages. He brought me an ice pack and a real coke for comfort.  He didn’t make me feel silly for falling in the middle of the street and he didn’t scold me for not being more careful.  He simply offered me the gift of comfort, warmth, and kindness.  He insisted that I sit there for as long as I needed, even if it were all day.

As I sat there, I began to reflect on my fall and looked for the lessons God had for me in my struggle with gravity.  Proverbs 24:32 came rushing to my mind, as is often the case, “I applied my heart to what I observed and I learned a lesson from what I saw.” 

I looked and saw that no matter what obstacle I face in life I do not face it alone.  We are encouraged in Deuteronomy 31:6 to “be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified . . . the Lord your God goes with you.  He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

God provided a stranger and a friend to pick me up when I was down.  David says in Psalm 37:23, “The steps of a man are established by the LORD, and He delights in his way.  When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.” 

My friend was my advocate as she went in search of help, just as Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father interceding on my behalf. The Lord calls on the Father and sends help from heaven. (Hebrews 7:25)

When I fall or fail in life I do not have to live in condemnation or shame.  Once I received God’s free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ I stand in assurance of His unconditional love and forgiveness.  He washes my wounds and binds up my brokenness. I can stand in grace. 

These are just a few of the lessons I learned as a result of my struggle with gravity.  Are you struggling with an addictive habit, a family crisis, or a physical injury that keeps forcing you to your hands and knees?  I can assure you that you are not alone. The Lord is with you, to pick you up, send you help, wash your wounds and bind up the broken pieces of your life.  A scripture that ministers to me each time I fall says, “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage.  Yes, wait for the Lord.”  (Psalm 27:13-14)  Reach out for Him, He will be there, faithful to offer grace and mercy in your time of need. 

Grace,

Nancy

P.S.  I did get up from that kitchen table and shopped the rest of that day.  In His strength! 

Muddy Water Questions

As a Bible teacher it can be a scary thing to allow your students to ask questions during the class.  Many teachers fear not knowing the answer when put on the spot to answer a difficult question publicly.  Last Sunday as I was wrapping up my lesson, one of my precious students asked me a question concerning a difficult and sometimes controversial scripture.  Feeling the pressure to come up with an answer I struggled as I suggested a possible answer, yet I was unable to give one that satisfied her thirst to know more. After class she approached me and asked me to pray for her that the Lord would teach her and show her the answer.  I immediately thought of Ephesians 1:17, “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.” I cannot stop thinking about the question she asked and her desperation to find the answer.  This week I was determined to listen to the Lord as I searched His Word to find the answer.   He spoke to me a one word answer, “faith.”  He keeps whispering in my ear, “faith.”

Have you ever stood in a puddle of water after a rainstorm?  The rain falling seems so clear, yet when it collects in the cracks and crevices of the ground little pools of muddy water form.  As we walk through the puddles the water mixes further with the dirt of the ground and even muddier water forms. Recently on Face book I saw a picture of my friends adorable Labradoodle after a romp in a pasture full of mud puddles.  He was such a muddy mess he was almost unrecognizable!  If you step in a puddle of muddy water you can no longer see your feet, however you know they are there.  That is the visual the Lord gave me as I was thinking of my student searching for the answer to her question.  The answer seems to be at the bottom of a pool of muddy water.  The more I look for the answer to her question the muddier the water gets!

We have so many questions: When, where, what, why and how seem to be the five most used words in all of life!  We ask, “When will I ever get married or have a baby?”  “Where should I live?”  “What should I do?”  “Why did this horrible thing have to happen to me and why now?”  “How will I ever be able to forgive her?”  The answer comes . . . “faith.” 

Many times we ask about the past and ponder why things happened or what we could have done differently.  Isaiah 43:18 contains an answer, “ Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new.  Now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”  We often keep looking back to find the answer that is right in front of us, we need only to have an expectant faith as we watch for God’s hand at work.  The Apostle Paul, a great teacher and preacher was asked, “What must I do to be saved?”  He answered, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved.” (Acts 16:30) Jesus was asked the question, “What shall we do, so that we may work the works of God?”  Jesus answered, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.”  Jesus has the answer to any question you have today and He is the answer to any question you will ever have!

Late last night I received some devastating news concerning a friend and the first thing that came to my mind was the question of “Why Lord?”  He quietly whispered, “faith.”  So as this devastating news lingers in my mind, I am clinging to my faith in a God who knows all, sees all, hears all, and will work all things out according to His good purpose.  I must choose to first acknowledge and accept the reality that I may never know the answer to my students “what about them?” question or my own question of “why?” this morning. For the Sovereign Lord’s ways and His knowledge are beyond figuring out.  Secondly, I can rest in the knowledge that from Him and through Him and to Him are all things! He has it all under His control! (Romans 11:33-36)  Finally, I choose to believe and have faith in my God who poured out His love when He sent His only perfect Son to take on all of my sin and shame and die in my place the death I deserved, so that I could live eternally in His presence and experience a peace that goes beyond my understanding. 

Today I pray that you will choose to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, who will secure for you an eternity of peace with Him and that you will trust Him for the answer to every muddy water question you may ask.  

Trust Him as the Answer,
Nancy

Finding Hope in the Playground

Yesterday was a whirlwind of activity! I went from one meeting to another.  I had the privilege of speaking to a group of young moms, having lunch with a young married woman, and meeting in the afternoon with a dear friend to plan an upcoming event. I went home from that afternoon meeting to change into my workout clothes and walked over to the gym. On the way to the gym I just happened to run into friend in the parking lot and we spent some time talking before I found myself on the treadmill. While on the treadmill, as often happens, my mind goes to all the activity of the day and then I try to listen to see if the Lord will speak to me. He is faithful to speak, more times than not, clearly and creatively whenever I am walking.  There is something about the rhythmic pace on the treadmill that allows my mind to free itself of all the stress of the day and simply enjoy being alone in my thoughts. 

I work out at the gym located in our church, which just happens to be right next door to where I live.  The church also houses a school and the treadmill I walk on is located on the second floor, in front of a large window, overlooking one of their playgrounds. As I was alone with my thoughts, I began to watch the group of children playing as they waited for their parents to pick them up after school.  It was a bird’s eye view of the children and their teachers.  I could see the activity and the patterns of play exhibited by the different children. There was one boy who sat alone by the sandbox.  There was one little girl who loved to challenge herself over and over again by trying to hoist herself onto the monkey bars and with each try she would fall, without ever giving any indication of fear or hurt.  Then I saw two adorably prissy girls who skipped along as if they had no care in the world.  I saw several boys constantly on the move, pushing and shoving, digging in the dirt and doing what boys do.  There were loners, socialites, leaders, and lovers all on the same playground.  I looked at them and tried to imagine what they would become as they grew into adulthood. 

Over the last couple of years I have lived with Proverbs 24:32, which says, “I applied my heart to what I observed and I learned a lesson from what I saw.”  What was the lesson brewing in that playground?  It dawned on me as I walked and watched that my observations of children on a playground was much like God’s observations of us as we navigate through life.  The Lord watches, listens and He doesn’t wonder what we will be, because He knows. He knows what is in our hearts and in our minds. He knows our joys and our fears.  He knows our pride and our shame. 

As I spoke to those young moms I tried to relate with them by telling them my struggles as a young mom.  I could see on their faces stress, fear, and wide-eyed wonder that came from being a young mom.  But only God could see their hearts. As I ate my lunch with a beautiful young woman and listened to her story my eyes were open to the pain that lied beneath such beauty and my mother’s heart was moved with a longing to hold her in my arms and tell her, “it is going to be okay.”  After our planning time, my friend and I sat and shared our hearts with one another.  I have often seen my friend as one who “has it all” yet yesterday she was struggling with some losses in her life.  All of us are truly helpless on our own, but God demonstrates His sacrificial love for us in that while we were still helpless and at just the right time, He sent His son to die for us, so that we might have peace with Him.  Paul’s words in Romans came to mind,  “. . . the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were” as I thought of those children and the women that crossed my path yesterday.  God gives us life and knows what we will make of that life.  In fact He died a radically gruesome death in order to provide life for us who were dead in our sin and sadness.  In the midst of the trials of young motherhood or abuse or loss, God reaches down from His sanctuary in heaven, and sees our pain, hears our groans and releases us from the clutches of death.  Psalm 102:18-20   

I walked back home from the gym with the word hope reverberating in my mind.  In the midst of my busy day filled with women and children of various ages, stages and seasons in life I saw the God of Hope filling me with joy and peace (Romans 15:13) because I believe with all my heart that He has something planned for each of us that will bring hope of a future with Him. (Jeremiah 29:11) If you check your heart today and find there is no hope and no peace, I invite you to call on the One who watches from His sanctuary on high and He will hear you and bring you eternal encouragement in the midst of motherhood, marriage, singleness or widowhood. Nothing and nobody is beyond His love! Romans 5:6

With Peace and Hope,

Nancy

An Extravagant Gift

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.  Romans 5:1-5

The Lord keeps whispering in my ear this week the words "stand in grace."  This phrase is found in the Romans passage that I have been meditating on and studying in preparation for teaching my precious Sunday morning Bible study ladies.  Of course the Lord is faithful to give me opportunities to live out my lessons before I teach them, which can be painful at times.  The Lord continues to show me practically what standing in His grace means.  In fact, He used a Christmas gift I received to teach me the valuable lesson of how to receive His love and grace.

On Christmas morning it was just my husband, William, my daughter, Sarah, and myself as we sat together eager to give and receive the gifts we had bought for one another. We started out by opening the gifts Sarah had bought for us and her opening the gift we had bought for her.  That round went rather well. Then, I proceeded to open the two packages William had given me. My mind wondered back to a recent trip to the mall after my husband had asked me to pick out some purses and wallets that I liked.  I had lost my purse on a  trip a month earlier, along with everything in it, and William planned to replace the purse, along with the wallet, for my Christmas gift.  I showed him several nice purses and wallets that he could choose from.  So, as I began to unwrap the gifts, I envisioned what the "gifts" would look like.  As I opened the first package, my heart sank and it was hard to find words of gratitude as I looked at something totally different from what I had picked out.  Then my daughter whispered to me, "Mom, that is a very expensive purse!"  Okay, I do not think of myself as ungrateful with a negative bent, but out of my complete bewilderment of holding in my hand a very extravagant gift, that was totally not what I thought I wanted, came words spoken as if I was having an out of body experience.  I couldn't fake a "Oh, I just love it!" at that moment, but only a, "It is fine, but it isn't like the ones I picked out." I sounded like some spoiled teenager!  And if that wasn't bad enough, I acted that way in front of my young adult daughter!  I could see the hurt all over my sweet husband's face.

Have you ever wanted a "do over?" At that moment, I wanted to ask if we could all go back to bed and wake up again so that I could have a second chance at responding in a more loving and godly way.  After saying "I am sorry" many times for my negative response and William saying the same thing for not getting what I wanted, we made peace and he suggested I take the purse and wallet back and get what I really wanted.  He said, "I have always wanted you to have a very nice purse and wallet because you deserve it."  I said, "But you didn't need to spend that much money on them.  I could have bought several outfits with the money you spent on one purse. Besides, I don't deserve it!"  I have always struggled with receiving all the love my husband wants to pour out on me, always feeling unworthy. I often call him my "grace gift."

The purse and wallet sat in the same place where I opened them for several days.  I went online and searched to see how much the purse cost (I had no idea who or what a Tory Burch was!) and was totally shocked and realized William had used all his extra money he had been saving and spent every bit on me!  As I was studying Romans 5, the Lord opened my eyes to truth as I read the passage from The Message:

"By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us- set us right with him, make us fit for him - we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus.  And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us.  We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand - out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise."  Romans 5:1-2  

William had done something he always wanted to do for me and there I stood unwilling to accept it.  Isn't that what many of us did (or are still doing) for a long time before accepting the grace gift of salvation from God who wanted to give us what He always wanted us to have.  Too often we step out of His wide open spaces of grace and into our own labor, our own self absorption and gain.  We try to fill up with what we think will satisfy our wants and realize that only God's poured out love will truly satisfy.  You see, God made us with a soul that was void and empty in need of a Savior. We try to fill it with the temporal things of pleasure, prestige, or position only to find ourselves just as empty as we were when we started.  It is only when we walk through the Door, called Jesus, and accept His invitation to live in His wide open spaces of grace that we find complete satisfaction and filling of our souls.

Now when I look at the very expensive designer bag, that I never took back, I am reminded not only of my husbands extravagant love for me, but also of God's poured out love for me that has provided me with everything I need for life and for godliness - I accept once again His extravagant grace gift of love. Also, when I see that bag I am reminded that when I pray and ask the Father for what I want, He is going to give me what He has always wanted me to have - and it may not necessarily look like what I had picked out!  

My prayer for you as you read my story, is that you will open wide your heart to stand fully in God's amazing grace drinking in the love He has for you.  If you have never stepped in to His grace, I invite you to take that step of faith and lay down your burdens, mistakes, and sins and give them over to Him and receive his unconditional love and forgiveness.  It is a gift that never quits giving! If you have accepted His gift of salvation, but have stepped out of His field of grace and into your own striving I urge you to step back in and stand completely still and take in His poured out love once again.  Here's to extravagant gifts!

Proving His Word True,
Nancy

Wednesday Whispers: Listening to Him

I started this blog seven years ago and I must admit I haven't been very faithful to this "blogging thing!" This year the Lord has reminded me of a special verse I hid in my heart a few years ago and it has sparked a renewed enthusiasm to share what God is teaching me with anyone who would read these posts. In Matthew 10:27 Jesus says,

"What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear proclaim upon the housetops." (NASB)

Each Wednesday I will seek to write down what God is speaking to me personally in hopes that it will encourage at least one person who would read this blog. This year the Lord has led me to another "word for the year."  He has done this for the last five years now and I look forward every fall for the Lord to whisper in my ear a word or phrase that He wants me to major on for the coming year.  This year the Lord has led me to center on the gospel: 

To listen to His voice in order to learn the gospel so that I can lead others to Him.  

In my study of the book of Romans the Lord is taking me deeper into the message of the gospel.  Romans 1:16 has been running over and over in my mind for weeks now: 

 "I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes; first for the Jew, then for the Gentile."  

The Lord spoke to me, not in a whisper, but in a very loud, but loving, voice as I meditated on and memorized this verse.  "Nancy, you have been timid in your witness, even ashamed to boldly offer this salvation message to your lost family and friends!"  But, Lord I love your Word and boldly speak and teach your Word to Believers.  In that still small voice He spoke, "Yes, but what about those who are lost in their sin and darkness." Why have I been stingy with my salvation?  I have enjoyed the peace of God and an inexpressible joy, yet have lacked the compassion and overwhelming gratitude needed to boldly share with any who would listen the glorious life-giving message of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  I discovered that I need to be more intentional in listening to the Lord as He speaks deeper things concerning the gospel.  So, in 2014 my aim and heart's desire is: 

To truly take in every detail of God's redemption story, to be in awe of this gift I received by faith, 

and with great passion and boldness offer the Bread of Life to any hungry soul 

the Lord causes to cross my path. 

Here's to listening attentively to the Lord's voice in 2014!

Learning the Gospel,

Nancy Taylor