Panic Attack

If you have read any of my posts lately you may notice a pattern.  The Lord is taking me through the school of fear fighting. It reminds me of when I was in college, there was a firefighter school close by where firemen would come to train during the summer.  They had a fireman obstacle course of sorts where there would be a house that would actually be set on fire allowing them to experience all the stressful details of an actual fire.  They would be assessed on how well they applied what they had learned in the classroom to the mock house fire. The Lord has given me quite a few opportunities recently to practice applying truth to fearful situations.  It is though the Lord is telling me that I need some remediation in the school of fear fighting.

This past week as my husband and I prepared to board a plane for an international mission trip, fear began to overtake me to the point of panic. I could not stop thinking of my children and how much I would miss them.  Then my thoughts took a u-turn and all I could think of was what if I never saw them again.  What if I never got to see my first grandchild or my daughter get married.  What if my mom suffered the loss of her child.  My chest grew tight, my breathing was labored and I just wanted to dissolve into a puddle in my husband's arms.

Then my husband's voice brought me back to my senses when he said, "If you want to turn around and go home and not get on the plane that is okay with me.  You can walk away right now and I will go without you."  At that moment it was like God had called out, "Nancy."  Then I had to respond in faith and say, "Here I am Lord!"  It was in that moment that I had to choose faith over fear.  Hebrews 10:35-39 in the Message speaks clearly the truth I needed to hear:

 "So don't throw it all away now.  You were sure of yourselves then.  It's still a sure thing!  But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan so you'll be there for the promised completion. It won't be long now, he's on his way; he'll show up most any minute.  But anyone who is right with me thrives on loyal trust; if he cuts and runs, I won't be very happy.  But we're no quitters who lose out.  Oh, no!  We'll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way."  

I am thankful that God responds immediately by giving me courage in my weakest moments.  I boarded the plane and a peace that I cannot explain came over me.  I never looked back and God has faithfully led me on this new adventure with Him.  I have seen answers to prayer almost on an hourly basis since I have been on this mission trip.  I experienced illness, but God healed. He has faithfully protected me to the point that I haven't even thought to fear or panic.   I have experienced His divine timing on several occasion in just a few days.  When I think of what I would have missed had I chosen to walk away and not board that plane, it brings me to my knees. I am looking forward to His promised completion of all His good purposes for this mission trip - and beyond!  Let's keep fighting fear with His truth, trusting Him all the way!  

Staying with it to the end!

Nancy