“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,”
he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch. Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed
that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for
you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you
will.” Then he returned to his
disciples and found them sleeping.
“Simon,” he said to Peter, “Are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for
one hour? Watch and pray so that
you will not fall into temptation.
The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Mark 14:34-38
I have been memorizing and meditating on this passage from
the gospel of Mark concerning the last moments the disciples spent with Christ
the evening of his betrayal and arrest.
Jesus was in deep sorrow as he prepared for what he knew was the
Father’s will. He begged God for
another plan, his plan, yet he conceded his desire to remain with his disciples
to God’s perfect will of suffering and shame. He wrestled in his heart with God, but, as always, he
submitted to the Father’s plan, knowing the joy that would follow. Hebrews 12:2
While Jesus wrestled with overwhelming grief, his disciples
slept. He was “obedient to the
point of death,” Paul says in his letter to the Philippians. Yet, his disciples gave in to sleep and
their own needs rather than keeping watch as Jesus had commanded. Jesus was saying, “not what I will, but
what you will” to God. Peter and
the disciples didn’t have a clue what Jesus was going through. They were more concerned with their
need of sleep than with fulfilling the desire Christ had for them.
This week I have thought about my children and some other
young adults who are searching to fulfill their dreams and goals for their
“perfectly planned” life. So often
we look for the place we want to live or the job we want to have as some
romantic adventure. We spend much
time dreaming about it, saving our money for it, and even giving up certain
other opportunities as we continue our search for the perfect life we have
planned. If we are not careful we
end up missing the Father’s perfect will and plan for our own glamorized notion
of what we think is best for us!
What if Jesus had said, “Lord, this is not what I had in
mind! I think I will stay right here with my followers and we will go with
their idea of me being an earthly king.”
If Jesus would of slept with the disciples instead of surrendering to
the Father’s will none of us would ever know the glory, the grace, the riches
of eternity. We wouldn’t have
known what beauty comes from ashes, what harvest comes from discipline nor
would we have known what it means to be a child of the King!
There was a time when I said, “I will never move back to
Houston!” I ate those words 17
years ago. If I had stayed with my
plan I wouldn’t have been a part of an amazing church where my husband is the
mission’s pastor. I would not have
gone on some amazing mission trips to India and Kenya. I would have never been given the opportunity
to create a position of leadership director in a health ministry. My son wouldn’t have met his sweet
wife. I wouldn’t have had the
privilege of caring for my mom in my home for a year as she battled
cancer. The list goes on and
on.
I am sure there are things that I haven’t been willing to do
that God was calling me to do. I
am also sure that I missed out on some blessings along the way because of my
disobedience and selfishness.
Today, as I think about my future and what I am willing to do with my
life, my skills, my gifts, and my time, I am reminded of Jesus’ admonition to
keep watching and praying. I do
not want to miss out on God’s perfect plan because I choose to sleep rather
than watch for His hand and listen for His voice. The Father’s plan doesn’t always make sense to us and it may
not seem very glamorous, but if it is His plan, it will be a plan filled with
His good purposes. Today, I am
laying down my will for His and will watch to see Him work for His good
pleasure. Philippians 2:13 How about you? Are you willing, really?
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