Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:1-5
The Lord keeps whispering in my ear this week the words "stand in grace." This phrase is found in the Romans passage that I have been meditating on and studying in preparation for teaching my precious Sunday morning Bible study ladies. Of course the Lord is faithful to give me opportunities to live out my lessons before I teach them, which can be painful at times. The Lord continues to show me practically what standing in His grace means. In fact, He used a Christmas gift I received to teach me the valuable lesson of how to receive His love and grace.
On Christmas morning it was just my husband, William, my daughter, Sarah, and myself as we sat together eager to give and receive the gifts we had bought for one another. We started out by opening the gifts Sarah had bought for us and her opening the gift we had bought for her. That round went rather well. Then, I proceeded to open the two packages William had given me. My mind wondered back to a recent trip to the mall after my husband had asked me to pick out some purses and wallets that I liked. I had lost my purse on a trip a month earlier, along with everything in it, and William planned to replace the purse, along with the wallet, for my Christmas gift. I showed him several nice purses and wallets that he could choose from. So, as I began to unwrap the gifts, I envisioned what the "gifts" would look like. As I opened the first package, my heart sank and it was hard to find words of gratitude as I looked at something totally different from what I had picked out. Then my daughter whispered to me, "Mom, that is a very expensive purse!" Okay, I do not think of myself as ungrateful with a negative bent, but out of my complete bewilderment of holding in my hand a very extravagant gift, that was totally not what I thought I wanted, came words spoken as if I was having an out of body experience. I couldn't fake a "Oh, I just love it!" at that moment, but only a, "It is fine, but it isn't like the ones I picked out." I sounded like some spoiled teenager! And if that wasn't bad enough, I acted that way in front of my young adult daughter! I could see the hurt all over my sweet husband's face.
Have you ever wanted a "do over?" At that moment, I wanted to ask if we could all go back to bed and wake up again so that I could have a second chance at responding in a more loving and godly way. After saying "I am sorry" many times for my negative response and William saying the same thing for not getting what I wanted, we made peace and he suggested I take the purse and wallet back and get what I really wanted. He said, "I have always wanted you to have a very nice purse and wallet because you deserve it." I said, "But you didn't need to spend that much money on them. I could have bought several outfits with the money you spent on one purse. Besides, I don't deserve it!" I have always struggled with receiving all the love my husband wants to pour out on me, always feeling unworthy. I often call him my "grace gift."
"By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us- set us right with him, make us fit for him - we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand - out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise." Romans 5:1-2
William had done something he always wanted to do for me and there I stood unwilling to accept it. Isn't that what many of us did (or are still doing) for a long time before accepting the grace gift of salvation from God who wanted to give us what He always wanted us to have. Too often we step out of His wide open spaces of grace and into our own labor, our own self absorption and gain. We try to fill up with what we think will satisfy our wants and realize that only God's poured out love will truly satisfy. You see, God made us with a soul that was void and empty in need of a Savior. We try to fill it with the temporal things of pleasure, prestige, or position only to find ourselves just as empty as we were when we started. It is only when we walk through the Door, called Jesus, and accept His invitation to live in His wide open spaces of grace that we find complete satisfaction and filling of our souls.
Now when I look at the very expensive designer bag, that I never took back, I am reminded not only of my husbands extravagant love for me, but also of God's poured out love for me that has provided me with everything I need for life and for godliness - I accept once again His extravagant grace gift of love. Also, when I see that bag I am reminded that when I pray and ask the Father for what I want, He is going to give me what He has always wanted me to have - and it may not necessarily look like what I had picked out!
My prayer for you as you read my story, is that you will open wide your heart to stand fully in God's amazing grace drinking in the love He has for you. If you have never stepped in to His grace, I invite you to take that step of faith and lay down your burdens, mistakes, and sins and give them over to Him and receive his unconditional love and forgiveness. It is a gift that never quits giving! If you have accepted His gift of salvation, but have stepped out of His field of grace and into your own striving I urge you to step back in and stand completely still and take in His poured out love once again. Here's to extravagant gifts!
Proving His Word True,
Nancy
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