Stolen Joy

I must admit I have totally been a slacker blogger!  I have not updated my blog or added a posting in a year!  Well, I came across a blog that I wrote this past summer and never shared, so I am adding it today and rededicating myself to blogging once again.  Please somebody hold me accountable for this!

Stolen Joy

John 10:9-10

I felt like I was slapped across the face this morning.  I woke up feeling so thankful to God for the opportunity I had yesterday to share my life’s message with some women in our church.  Their response to the message was such a blessing as they all seemed to be pumped and ready to get a tighter grip on God’s Word.  I left feeling that I had accomplished my lesson’s aim, which was to inspire them to want what I had found – the power of the memorized Word. 

All that changed this morning as I prepared to work out.  I was looking forward to visiting with my workout buddy when a woman, who had heard me speak the prior day, approached me. She greeted me with,  “You do want feedback from yesterday, don’t you?  Well, you know that most of those women didn’t get it.  They don’t really know what it is to take their thoughts captive.”  She went on, but it was as if I left my body and began to think to myself, “I didn’t get the message across after all, I didn’t communicate clearly.”  As we were parting ways, she said, “Oh by the way, before they release the recording of your message, you will want to change one word.  You said one word that you need to change.  You know which one I am talking about, don’t you?.”  I thought to myself and then said, “No.”  ‘Well you said, you are thankful that your daughter-in-law has a “son” like Will.”  “You should have said, “husband.” 

In my head I began to think, “Really, that is what she just had to say to me!”  What was funny is just prior to that she had shared how she had learned how to have victory over negative confessions.  Did she think she was encouraging me, really? 

As she left, I began a wrestling match in my head.  I was thrown into my old way of thinking: “I was not perfect.  I will never be good enough. I just don’t measure up.”  I searched my memory trying to recall any other mistakes I had made, feeling like a failure.  All the positive comments had now fallen out of my brain and were replaced with one woman’s feedback on my message. I went through the motions of my workout physically, but I was doing mental gymnastics as I went over and over the words she had spoken to me. 

As I walked home from my workout I confessed to the Lord my feelings.  He reminded me of James 3:1-2 – “Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers. Because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.  We all stumble in many ways.  If anyone is never at fault in what he says he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.”  At that moment I began to take the thoughts and words of this women captive to the obedience of Christ.  I acknowledged to God that I know I am not perfect, that I know I will be judged more strictly and that we all stumble in many ways.  He revealed to me that pride was the motivation for this woman’s comments and so I am choosing to cast this anxiety on Christ and allow Him to care for me and work in me and in this woman for His glory and goodness.   I am choosing to set my mind on the truth of God’s word that called me to use my gift to serve others, faithfully ministering God’s grace and speaking as one who speaks the very words of Christ. I am choosing to bite my brain each time it wants to recall the hurtful words and not return evil with evil or insult with insult, but extend the grace of God.  I am choosing to believe what God said through Paul, “I am confident of this that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Phil 1:6