A Closet Meltdown

I had a closet meltdown today. I woke up extremely sore after my boot camp torture yesterday. I could barely get out of the bed and then after sitting in my "having coffee with Jesus" chair for an hour, my muscles felt frozen. Even with all the soreness, I tackled the elliptical at the gym this morning and enjoyed Sara Groves on my ipod. My day was going so well as I studied for my Sunday Bible study lesson and reviewed over my notes for the scripture memory class I teach tonight. The Lord was giving me some insights to share and illustrations to use. I was on a roll! Then, it happened. I took my shower - stayed in extra long under the hot water to ease my sore muscles - and then I went to my closet to find something to . . . . . wear! I looked through every piece of clothing hanging in my closet and found that most of the items no longer fit and those that fit were not quite right for "teaching." As I looked through the skirts and pants I was reminded that I had gained a good bit of weight since the last time I was able to wear most of them. They have been hanging in my closet for over a year without being worn. I keep telling myself I am going to lose this weight and be able to wear these again. I go on a diet and exercise my self into oblivion and lose a pound or two and then . . . . nothing! All my "poor me" emotions came flooding out and I found myself sobbing in my closet and muttering to myself, "You are so fat. How could you let yourself get like this. Now you are too fat to wear any of your clothes and you have no money to buy anymore!" I cried out to the Lord in my meltdown and He just listened. He is really good at listening to me when I cry out in meltdown mode. Then, right on cue, my husband calls to see how my day is going. I confessed that I had a closet meltdown again. He then proceeds to say what he always says, "Nancy you are beautiful and godly and God is using you greatly." Then he volunteered to give me $20 to buy another dress like the one I bought yesterday at Chico's for $18(originally cost $118!) At that moment I felt really small - not physically, but spiritually. I turned down his offer, but thanked him, just the same. Thank you Lord. Thank you for a husband that speaks grace, mercy, and love on Your behalf. I don't deserve it, but am overwhelmed by your grace and love. Mark 4:19 came flooding to my mind. "But the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the Word, making it unfruitful." Along with my closet meltdown, the Word was being choked right out of me- the Life was being choked by my worry over what to wear, my desire to be thinner, and thinking that if I just had enough money I could fix everything! How on earth could those lies get into my brain that is flooded with God's Word? Easy - I hadn't been alert! But God was- He provided a way out of my self-obsession - through my husbands phone call- and into realization of the Truth! Thank you Lord for proving your Word true again in my life. Attention: I am now leaving the closet meltdown, clothed with Christ!